You know, when I'm paid to worry about crazy things in order to pay my rent and earn a crust to eat at night, when I'm selfishly thinking about what I want to do, what I want to get, why I want to be somewhere and how long I will be stuck behind this stupid car that's holding me from my home, I'm million miles from memories that can warm the coldest of winters but also full of denied regrets for not keeping in touch with good people who played a part in shaping my world.
And so I find myself wanting to end this blog post without talking so much about 'me' because tonight, I've been overwhelmed with memories of the daily bus rides I took to-and-from college for two years. At the time, the bus ride was just a functional device for transporting my then not-so-fat butt. However, upon receiving an e-mail from a friend who shared part of that journey with me, I can see that it was a whole lot more than that.
Even some of the conversations are coming back, and among the memories of the people, there are memories of the interactions and the characters who were there; The nutters, the thinkers, the hippies and the singers and there was even a glamour model! What a mixed bunch we were, but if I remember correctly, I think I might have even felt accepted. How weird!
Nothing is or was perfect, but I remember those people who have left a lasting impression on me and now, in my memories, they are still boys and girls but of course, they're not. They're now men and women, husbands and wives, fathers and mothers, and things have changed and the fact that I didn't make the slightest effort to keep in touch makes me feel like I've betrayed something really significant. They probably don't even remember me and if they do, they probably don't particularly mind or care that I've not been in touch, but I know that this is a pattern that follows much of how I do things. And I must face up to the fact that one person did try and keep in touch with me but I didn't write back.
Did e'r such joy and regret meet?
I probably deserve to be alone, if I think about it. If I can't make the effort to treat people with respect and dignity, what right do I have to expect it from them?
Showing posts with label pastors. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pastors. Show all posts
Monday, 10 September 2007
Saturday, 14 July 2007
The Modern Christian Leader
I'm having a bit of a 'downer' on religion at the moment, which is a bit of a problem when you're a Born Again Christian but I can't help it.
What's bugging me at the moment is watching what happens with your typical modern Christian Leader or Pastor. Not all pastors are the same (mine is a particularly nice, honest, reliable, open and trustworthy chap - and I mean that), but there is a trend that I have observed, in particular with those who are pastors of larger churches, and that trend is very ugly.
I'm not even going to elaborate on their big cars and fitted suits, but I am going to comment on their distance from the world which the rest of us inhabits. Their distance is a problem on two levels.
The first problem is that, as far as bringing in non-Christians is concerned, they seem to think that everyone is a Big Brother watching lager lout or a Radio 4 listening agnostic who's desparate to be rescued from a life of jam making.
They focus on the Big Brother generation and assume that everybody is too thick to see through the shallow multimedia which they pump out. The assumption is that Radio 4 Jam Makers have had their chance so they can find their own way (if they make their own way at all) and we have to get more and more 'young people' and to get 'young people' to come to church, we've got act as stupid as the kids who hang around the bus stop drinking alco-pops in your town or village; loud music with words so generic they could be singing about Jesus or a Zebra, sermons that say everything is Ok and there's no need to go to church but it would be nice if you did, and names for 'young people' gatherings like 'The Lazer Group', 'Nuclear Kidz', 'Atomic Purpose Finders' or 'The iGod' (basically, anything that doesn't let on that someone may mention 'Jesus' in a 'nice' way).
The second is the aloofness of the leaders' own position and unapproachability which is felt by those who go to church but aren't in the 'Worship Group', who don't dress according to their age (torn jeans and T-Shirt if you're under 30, trousers and tie for 30+), who may be a little bit ugly (after all, they want churches to be attractive so there's no room for buck-toothed fatties), who may want something a little deeper than a Sunday Night Pep Talk or who may actually be tired after doing a whole day in what we 'non church leaders' call a 'day job'.
I'm trying to hold myself back because I know I'm winding myself up, but it drives me up the wall when they come down on the older church members for not attending the conventions or the 'leadership seminars' or even the special visits by passing dignitaries. They want you to give them your money, your time, your energy. You may be struggling to keep your eyes open at the end of the day, you may be ready to scream and collapse under the stress of work, you may be struggling to have a bank balance at the end of your financial month, but that's your problem and you should have more faith to believe so that you too could have a big 2ltr car, a house, a sofa and a shagpile carpet.
In a single sentence, they have the power to control your actions, will and identity. You may have thought that you were a good chap whom God loves but they have the power to tell you that you don't have a future and that you suck. They 'know' you better than you do and so they explain your own motives to you (in case you didn't know). They give you the criteria of success and laugh snotty chortles when they have their 'lodge meetings' because you're so dumb. If you're not one of 'theirs', you can go away forever and they won't care, but if you are 'theirs', then if you vanish for half an hour, there'll be 'prayer marches' around your house and and all-night vigils because you're such a nice person and Jesus loves you because you're special, pretty and you can play the piano.
These things have not happened to me, I've not been treated like this but I have seen others be treated like this and it gets me in the gut. I believe with all my heart in Jesus and that He is the 'image' and 'essence' of God, and I also know that the Church is, like ever other organisation, structured with a hierarchy and organisation that makes sense, but I wonder if these people who make their proclamations, walk around with their big zipped-up Bibles and beautiful wives realise that their kingdoms are shrinking.
The growing churches have humble leaders who don't demand what they won't give and who don't demand what the people can't give. Churches that matter have people who know they matter (no matter their ability, appearance or financial stability) and these churches preach sermons that matter.
I am impressed when I see a pastor who drives a normal car (ie, a car that would have £15,000 knocked off the value if you snotted on the leather upholstery), who smiles at people who smell and talks to people who society considers beyond their 'best by' date. I respect pastors who challenge my lifestyle by their lifestyle, I don't respect pastors who want everybody to be money-grabbing number crunchers, who have nothing to offer society apart from the things that society has got anyway.
What's bugging me at the moment is watching what happens with your typical modern Christian Leader or Pastor. Not all pastors are the same (mine is a particularly nice, honest, reliable, open and trustworthy chap - and I mean that), but there is a trend that I have observed, in particular with those who are pastors of larger churches, and that trend is very ugly.
I'm not even going to elaborate on their big cars and fitted suits, but I am going to comment on their distance from the world which the rest of us inhabits. Their distance is a problem on two levels.
The first problem is that, as far as bringing in non-Christians is concerned, they seem to think that everyone is a Big Brother watching lager lout or a Radio 4 listening agnostic who's desparate to be rescued from a life of jam making.
They focus on the Big Brother generation and assume that everybody is too thick to see through the shallow multimedia which they pump out. The assumption is that Radio 4 Jam Makers have had their chance so they can find their own way (if they make their own way at all) and we have to get more and more 'young people' and to get 'young people' to come to church, we've got act as stupid as the kids who hang around the bus stop drinking alco-pops in your town or village; loud music with words so generic they could be singing about Jesus or a Zebra, sermons that say everything is Ok and there's no need to go to church but it would be nice if you did, and names for 'young people' gatherings like 'The Lazer Group', 'Nuclear Kidz', 'Atomic Purpose Finders' or 'The iGod' (basically, anything that doesn't let on that someone may mention 'Jesus' in a 'nice' way).
The second is the aloofness of the leaders' own position and unapproachability which is felt by those who go to church but aren't in the 'Worship Group', who don't dress according to their age (torn jeans and T-Shirt if you're under 30, trousers and tie for 30+), who may be a little bit ugly (after all, they want churches to be attractive so there's no room for buck-toothed fatties), who may want something a little deeper than a Sunday Night Pep Talk or who may actually be tired after doing a whole day in what we 'non church leaders' call a 'day job'.
I'm trying to hold myself back because I know I'm winding myself up, but it drives me up the wall when they come down on the older church members for not attending the conventions or the 'leadership seminars' or even the special visits by passing dignitaries. They want you to give them your money, your time, your energy. You may be struggling to keep your eyes open at the end of the day, you may be ready to scream and collapse under the stress of work, you may be struggling to have a bank balance at the end of your financial month, but that's your problem and you should have more faith to believe so that you too could have a big 2ltr car, a house, a sofa and a shagpile carpet.
In a single sentence, they have the power to control your actions, will and identity. You may have thought that you were a good chap whom God loves but they have the power to tell you that you don't have a future and that you suck. They 'know' you better than you do and so they explain your own motives to you (in case you didn't know). They give you the criteria of success and laugh snotty chortles when they have their 'lodge meetings' because you're so dumb. If you're not one of 'theirs', you can go away forever and they won't care, but if you are 'theirs', then if you vanish for half an hour, there'll be 'prayer marches' around your house and and all-night vigils because you're such a nice person and Jesus loves you because you're special, pretty and you can play the piano.
These things have not happened to me, I've not been treated like this but I have seen others be treated like this and it gets me in the gut. I believe with all my heart in Jesus and that He is the 'image' and 'essence' of God, and I also know that the Church is, like ever other organisation, structured with a hierarchy and organisation that makes sense, but I wonder if these people who make their proclamations, walk around with their big zipped-up Bibles and beautiful wives realise that their kingdoms are shrinking.
The growing churches have humble leaders who don't demand what they won't give and who don't demand what the people can't give. Churches that matter have people who know they matter (no matter their ability, appearance or financial stability) and these churches preach sermons that matter.
I am impressed when I see a pastor who drives a normal car (ie, a car that would have £15,000 knocked off the value if you snotted on the leather upholstery), who smiles at people who smell and talks to people who society considers beyond their 'best by' date. I respect pastors who challenge my lifestyle by their lifestyle, I don't respect pastors who want everybody to be money-grabbing number crunchers, who have nothing to offer society apart from the things that society has got anyway.
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