Tuesday 29 July 2008

The Lost Chapter of the Gospel of Luke

[1] And after he did raise the dead, heal the lame and bring peace to the afflicted, behold, many yet believed Him not saying [2] "Yea, thou hast done many things but thou art also very preachy unto our ears. [3] Be thou not so preachy and we may yet believe that thou art He who Thou sayest thou art."

[4] Therefore did He say unto the twelve "As the sun riseth on the morning of the morrow, even the day that followest this, we shall go into the streets of the towns and villages with sticks of picking and pick up the litter thereof." [5] And Thomas did say "shall we not also weed the gardens of the people of the towns and the villages, picking up their daisies and mowing their lawns with a great mowing?" and thus they established in their hearts to do so, and they did preach not a word since then even unto this day.

[6] As the sun rose, they did pick up all the litter of the villages; skinds of the banana, packets of the crisp and teabags which were yet soggy were collected all, and the people marvelled. [7] Then did they the mowing of the lawns and the weeding of the gardens and the people were filled the people with awe, even as unto a great awe-filling, and the people did say among themselves "forsooth! The lame walked, the blind did see and the demon posessed were released but this! This is something our eyes have never beheld! Indeed, Israel hath never had such lawns and rockeries and clean streets!" [8] The middle classes have, even this day, nice gardens in which to have barbeques and the homeless have cleaner streets in which to sleep!

[9] And one, known as Gosphlius, did behold his well mown lawn and said "surely, this is the Son of God".

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