Should He Be Allowed to DriveHere?

Looking at a blog post by one Jacek "Edward" Rutkowski ( see http://ejr44.blogspot.com/2008/05/i-am-deep-in-england-now.html), I wonder not at how we allow so many foreigners into the country (that's cool), but why we allow them to drive if they haven't shown any competence. Here's what this gentleman has to say about driving in the UK;

"driving in UK is a bit strange: the priority has always the one coming from the left, not right like on the continent but what if you try to enter round-about? Then people on the round-about have always higher priority than you who is entering round-about even though technically people on the round-about are on the left side, or how it is? I must learn it some time..."

Yes, maybe you should, like, y'know, learn it before you even start to drive around here and kill someone?

Does this worry you? How do you feel about sharing the road with people who don't know if they've quite understood how the whole 'road thing' works?

The Itsy-Bitsy Schmucks

(from my blog at rcopeh.blogspot.com)

I don't know if this has ever happened to you. Maybe it hasn't. Maybe you've got a charmed life and you never meet any schmucks but I've found that from time to time, I meet some schmucks.

They're normal people; they go to the toilet, they go to the store, they even go to the office or the factory and earn an honest living. But just get on the wrong end of one of these and you're going to find yourself having a rough time, if you let yourself care.

Because these are the idiots who keep wanting to make you feel stupid and look stupid because it makes them feel cleverer and look cleverer. The more stupid they make you feel, the greater they feel and so it goes on. If you ever meet one of these guys, try not to meet them again. I'm glad I don't meet many, but when I do, I want to vomit.

What kind of human being wants to make another human being feel like crap just so that they can feel like a king or a queen? I'll tell you; a little human being. Think about it; if you're so small and stupid that they keep wanting to show you how small and stupid you are, then what kind of achievement is it for them in being better than a small and stupid person?

Let's face it, if someone needs to give you *that* *much* *attention* just to make themselves feel big, then you're not the stupid putz you're being told you are. You don't need anyone to feel stupid in order to be happy while the schmuck across the road does. What does that say? It says that you're better than them. That's what it says.

If I beat up a five year old girl, is that something to be proud of? Of course not, I should be ashamed (I don't go beating up kids, don't worry), but if I can get into a fight with the likes of Joe Calzaghe and still be alive at the end of it, then I've achieved something.

If someone keeps putting you down so that they can measure up better than you, then smile because they're the little ones, they're the itsy-bitsy schmucks who need little victories over someone better than them (you) in order to survive.

Bullies bully you because they need to. You survive because you choose to.

Simple.

Feelgood and Feelbad Churches

(from my blog at rcopeh.blogspot.com)

I'll be honest with you (and what a stupid phrase that is anyway); I'm struggling with reconciling two extremes of a spectrum. This is a spectrum of churches that I observe in the Uk and, more specifically, in Wales.

The struggle is that the two extremes which I have seen don't make much sense when I read what about Christianity says about itself in the Bible. I think it's probably best if I just describe the churches to you and if you want to comment and/or help me understand, comment below.

The extremes appear to be goals of the churches that are in between. They see these as a desired outcome, an ideal. Now, I'm not saying that either of these extremes is wrong, I'm only explaining my problem with them.

The two types are (to put them in my flippant terms); The Feelgood Church and The Feelbad Church.

The Feelgood Church

This kind of church seems to be the most fun but also the most lacking in any substance. The songs are lively and exciting but have bland and pointless lyrics, the preaching is nice and friendly but pointless.

These churches seem to be embarrassed by the Bible and preach sermons that make me leave wondering why anybody would want to be a Christian anyway since the rest of the world seems to be offering everything that preacher just told me I could have there. They never seem to tell people why Jesus died apart from the idea that Jesus can make you feel nice about yourself. They never mention sin, they never mention righteousness but they put a big emphasis on being culturally relevant which inevitably translates into being American (nothing wrong with Americans by the way :-).

Why would someone need Jesus to make them feel nice if they already feel nice?

In my opinion, this kind of church has plenty of heart but no strength, no unique selling point and no spiritual purpose.

If, as I believe, eternal life has already started at the moment of the second birth, and this present life is just a taste of what's to come, why does it have to be so mind-numbingly shallow and disengaging with reality, all the time?

The Feelbad Church

The complete antithesis of the above is this kind of church where if you don't read at least five chapters of the Bible a day, usually at the most inconvenient time possible, sitting on a scissors and with one eye closed, then you're somehow failing.

While the Feelgood church never mentions sin and the need for salvation, the Feelbad church puts a huge emphasis on the problem (sin), a rather big emphasis on the solution (Christ) but little-to-no mention of the benefits apart from the painfully righteous feeling that will follow you around like an old granny who thinks it's disrespectful to fart in church.

The sermons seem to be about a God who never quite satisfies because the more miserable the pain and disquiet in your soul, the holier you obviously are. Because God has so much to give us and show us in His great truth (no sarcasm there, I actually believe this), the more unhappy we should be (I don't believe this bit).

There doesn't seem to be much in the way of joy when I visit these churches. For these, life seems to be one big spaced out sequence of unsatisfying events linked by regular moments of pain and self loathing to the point of self flagellation.

If, as I believe, eternal life has already started at the moment of the second birth, and this present life is just a taste of what's to come, why does it have to be so miserable all the time?

Help!

And so I'm stuck in the middle, unable to fit anywhere because I can't get my head around the extremes.

My testimony is of an experience with Jesus who showed to me my sin and washed it away. He is still working with me because I'm still not perfect and I know that there's a whole lot more to Him than what I know. I believe that prayer, reading the Bible and meditation on it is the best recipe for understanding Him and His purposes. But if this is relationship, then why would I go looking for exclusive ways to be shallow (a la the Feelgood church) or for ways to make myself feel as rotten as possible (a la the Feelbad church)?

I don't see happy married couples acting in this way. I don't see happy married couples trying to show each other how unworthy one feels in the presence of the other, all the time feeling unsatisfied because they're so crap. Neither do I see happy married couples treating each other like they're just a bit a laugh and nothing more. Happy married couples seem, to me (from a single person's standpoint) to enjoy each other, respect each other and take the rough with the smooth.

Maybe it's to do with control. The Feelgood church encourages the music-centric, worked up kind of worship that can often result in people going all shaky and falling on the ground in uncontrollably writhing 'pleasure'. The Feelbad church encourages giving the kind of control to God that leaves no independent thought at all (the pastor often becomes a dictator with whom you dare not disagree on any issue) and completely disengages the believer from any form of interaction with the physical world (kind of like the gnostics who believed that anything of flesh is inherently evil, therefore Jesus wasn't a flesh-and-blood Man). Both of these seem to miss that point that God has given His followers a Spirit of Self Control (something I struggle with, especially when it comes to chocolate). Nobody in these churches seems to want to have any control over their lives, forgetting that God gave kings to Israel who controlled the nation, and just like kings, there is good self-control and bad self-control.

Come to think of it, that last paragraph could be the biggest red herring since Red Rodney, the reddest herring in the Thames, caught a sun tan.

Such is my alienation from these 'enlightened' points of experience, I expect to be called a heretic or irrelevant to this generation. Paradoxically, I could even find myself being called shallow and 'puritan'. Others will feel sorry for me and try to explain how stupid I am while 'caring' for me in a 'I know best what Jesus wants for you' kind of way.

However, if you have any thoughts (even ones designed to make me feel unworthy of breath), let me know.

Madonna, the Airport Hospital and my Charity Fun Run

Last night, I dreamed that I was winning a charity fun run until we came to a really wide corridor on the last stretch. The corridor was in a hospital that also doubled up as an airport. Anyway, I was in front but Madonna came up behind and tried to pull my leg so that I couldn't run.

As you'd expect, I was getting annoyed with Madonna because I was losing speed so I gave her a shove and she fell crashing to the floor. I remembered all those movies about how people help each other in a race, even if it meant losing the race but the doors were just two metres away so I figured "Stuff that!" since I could go back and help her once I'd crossed the Finishing Doors.

I walked in through the doors and then went straight back to help Madonna who was just coming round. The problem was, she'd forgotten everything - even who she was. I walked her into the airport lounge that was through the hospital doors and sat her down with a cup of coffee before I phoned the police to 'fess up to what I'd done.

These two cops turned up in brown coats and hats and they told me not to worry because Madonna is funny like that, she's probably not forgotten anything and she's just trying to make me feel bad.

Easily and Simply Add Data to Google Doc Spreadhseet from a Mobile Device?

I had a thought today with which I'm quite pleased. If someone has already thought of this then hey, cool and props to you!

Just in case you could find a use for easily adding data to a spreadsheet from a mobile phone without having to mess about with cells and cursors, then this will work a treat.

All you need is a Google Apps account (which is free and comes with a normal Google account, go to http://doc.google.com for details) and a mobile device that can view simple web pages.

Here's what you do;

• Open up (or create) your Google Docs Spreadsheet and design yourself a form by clicking on Share and selecting to fill out a form.

• Once you've done all that, enter your own e-mail address as an invitee, but don't Include form in invitation e-mail (this didn't work in my testing).
• Click on Invite People.

Now you should have an invite e-mail is in your inbox. Just access that e-mail from your mobile device and click on the link at the top of the e-mail. What will open is a dead simple form which you can fill in. When you're finished, click on Submit.

The data you entered into the form has now been added to your fully functional Google Docs spreadsheet.

You can keep this e-mail in a folder ready for use and re-use whenever you need it and the benefit of it going into a Spreadsheet is that it is easy to manipulate and any formatting conditions or charts can and will be up-to-date for when you go and view your spreadsheet properly.

Since every submission has an automatic timestamp, this could be useful for fieldworkers who need to enter simple information after a job or, as I've done here, for keeping a track on your fuel economy.