(from my blog at rcopeh.blogspot.com)
The struggle is that the two extremes which I have seen don't make much sense when I read what about Christianity says about itself in the Bible. I think it's probably best if I just describe the churches to you and if you want to comment and/or help me understand, comment below.
The extremes appear to be goals of the churches that are in between. They see these as a desired outcome, an ideal. Now, I'm not saying that either of these extremes is wrong, I'm only explaining my problem with them.
The two types are (to put them in my flippant terms); The Feelgood Church and The Feelbad Church.
The Feelgood Church
This kind of church seems to be the most fun but also the most lacking in any substance. The songs are lively and exciting but have bland and pointless lyrics, the preaching is nice and friendly but pointless.
These churches seem to be embarrassed by the Bible and preach sermons that make me leave wondering why anybody would want to be a Christian anyway since the rest of the world seems to be offering everything that preacher just told me I could have there. They never seem to tell people why Jesus died apart from the idea that Jesus can make you feel nice about yourself. They never mention sin, they never mention righteousness but they put a big emphasis on being culturally relevant which inevitably translates into being American (nothing wrong with Americans by the way :-).
Why would someone need Jesus to make them feel nice if they already feel nice?
In my opinion, this kind of church has plenty of heart but no strength, no unique selling point and no spiritual purpose.
If, as I believe, eternal life has already started at the moment of the second birth, and this present life is just a taste of what's to come, why does it have to be so mind-numbingly shallow and disengaging with reality, all the time?
The Feelbad Church
The complete antithesis of the above is this kind of church where if you don't read at least five chapters of the Bible a day, usually at the most inconvenient time possible, sitting on a scissors and with one eye closed, then you're somehow failing.
While the Feelgood church never mentions sin and the need for salvation, the Feelbad church puts a huge emphasis on the problem (sin), a rather big emphasis on the solution (Christ) but little-to-no mention of the benefits apart from the painfully righteous feeling that will follow you around like an old granny who thinks it's disrespectful to fart in church.
The sermons seem to be about a God who never quite satisfies because the more miserable the pain and disquiet in your soul, the holier you obviously are. Because God has so much to give us and show us in His great truth (no sarcasm there, I actually believe this), the more unhappy we should be (I don't believe this bit).
There doesn't seem to be much in the way of joy when I visit these churches. For these, life seems to be one big spaced out sequence of unsatisfying events linked by regular moments of pain and self loathing to the point of self flagellation.
If, as I believe, eternal life has already started at the moment of the second birth, and this present life is just a taste of what's to come, why does it have to be so miserable all the time?
Help!
And so I'm stuck in the middle, unable to fit anywhere because I can't get my head around the extremes.
My testimony is of an experience with Jesus who showed to me my sin and washed it away. He is still working with me because I'm still not perfect and I know that there's a whole lot more to Him than what I know. I believe that prayer, reading the Bible and meditation on it is the best recipe for understanding Him and His purposes. But if this is relationship, then why would I go looking for exclusive ways to be shallow (a la the Feelgood church) or for ways to make myself feel as rotten as possible (a la the Feelbad church)?
I don't see happy married couples acting in this way. I don't see happy married couples trying to show each other how unworthy one feels in the presence of the other, all the time feeling unsatisfied because they're so crap. Neither do I see happy married couples treating each other like they're just a bit a laugh and nothing more. Happy married couples seem, to me (from a single person's standpoint) to enjoy each other, respect each other and take the rough with the smooth.
Maybe it's to do with control. The Feelgood church encourages the music-centric, worked up kind of worship that can often result in people going all shaky and falling on the ground in uncontrollably writhing 'pleasure'. The Feelbad church encourages giving the kind of control to God that leaves no independent thought at all (the pastor often becomes a dictator with whom you dare not disagree on any issue) and completely disengages the believer from any form of interaction with the physical world (kind of like the gnostics who believed that anything of flesh is inherently evil, therefore Jesus wasn't a flesh-and-blood Man). Both of these seem to miss that point that God has given His followers a Spirit of Self Control (something I struggle with, especially when it comes to chocolate). Nobody in these churches seems to want to have any control over their lives, forgetting that God gave kings to Israel who controlled the nation, and just like kings, there is good self-control and bad self-control.
Come to think of it, that last paragraph could be the biggest red herring since Red Rodney, the reddest herring in the Thames, caught a sun tan.
Such is my alienation from these 'enlightened' points of experience, I expect to be called a heretic or irrelevant to this generation. Paradoxically, I could even find myself being called shallow and 'puritan'. Others will feel sorry for me and try to explain how stupid I am while 'caring' for me in a 'I know best what Jesus wants for you' kind of way.
However, if you have any thoughts (even ones designed to make me feel unworthy of breath), let me know.
No comments:
Post a Comment