Text Message Terrorists

(from my blog at rcopeh.blogspot.com)

There's a certain kind of terrorist who I'm sure we all know; It's the text message terrorist, the person who will drop a text, maybe two and then vanish until the next 'bomb' (boy are the CIA computers going to want to read this this post! Any keywords missing?)

The goal of the text message terrorist is to make you feel like trash and this is because you felt Ok and that is not allowed. This is how it goes; I get a text saying "Hi! How r u?" and you know what? That sounds pretty, pretty cheerful to me. So I reply with "I'm great thanks! What a stunning day! How are you?" to which I get the reply "I feel like crap. My life sucks and I hate myself. Glad ur havin a gud day". Being the caring friend, I may text back with some support or to ask if I can help, but no reply. I'll call, but no pickup.

Another example is the text which starts "Hi! How r u?" to which I reply with the same cheer and asking how they are and..... no reply. I often get a string of these where people want to know how I am and what I'm doing but won't tell me anything about themselves. Sometimes, I get wise to this and when I'm asked how I am, I reply "Great to hear from you. How are you?" to which a reply (if there is one) will be "so, ur nt goin 2 answer my q. Fine." So I end up feeding them a little information, just so that they don't feel I don't trust them, and I get no reply.

What is it with these people? What kind of human being asks how someone is but doesn't reply when they're asked the same by the person they just asked!? It's like they think they're more important or something so it's right that they should know what goes on in my simple life but I couldn't possibly begin to comprehend what goes on in their super-secret, MI5 lives?

If they could send messages in English, it'd help but these a dumb schmucks who act like they want me to walk around with a cloud, worrying that such'n'such is Ok. And you know what? I will (to a point) worry. That's what being a friend is about!

However, the bestest ever is the kind that plays out like a soap opera. What happens is that you become a support for someone. Maybe they're feeling lonely, down or just plain euch. It happens, we all go through it. However, once they're out, they're there teaching and preaching about how you're such a schmuck for thinking that they're the kind of person who could think in the context of such mind-numbing negativity. No, they weren't depressed, you were! What were you thinking! Listen to their advice! They know all about you and will direct you through every intricate detail of your life. They may even approve of some of the things you've done or thought of doing! How about that!? And now that you have the assurance that they're telling their friends about what kind of farbisener you are (despite putting up with their text terrorism), you can be sure of having knowing glances, nods and smirks from each and every single pashkudenyak there.

Because I'm a soft-hearted idiot, I let this happen to me a number of times before I figure that there's probably more to life than listening to people who are only going to preach back at me like some sort of mishugena. If I want that kind of interaction, I'll play with Robosapien V2 - at least that one speaks English.

Some of you who think you know me may be trying to work out who I'm talking about. Don't worry, you don't know these putzes, and I'm not talking about you. I know I can trust you. That's why I like you.

Thank you for reading.